


Glimmer in the Dark

by stardustcatharsis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: #slowburn #tension #rey #kyloren #forcebond, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:58:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustcatharsis/pseuds/stardustcatharsis
Summary: In her loneliness, Rey pushes against the bond she shares with Ben, rousing him from a half-sleep. Her presence should have left him at ease. Instead, her taunting questions and half admissions left him tense as he attempts to draw her closer to him.Tension fic.





	1. Chapter 1

It was silent and the heaviness of the stars seemed to hang their weight upon him. He lay sleepless in a sunken black bed. It was cool in his quarters, save for the fire burning in his blood. The darkness that engulfed him seemed to be more infinite as he tried to lull his weary mind into unconsciousness.

It seemed that Kylo rarely found solace in sleep. And if he did, he would wake alone. Being bathed in sweat, lost in a drapery of black curls, seemed less appealing the more it occurred. 

 

The weight of his position ground against his body, pushing and prodding against his own conflict. What he would give to sleep. His mind never slumbered.  It screamed with all of his wrongdoings and heinous crimes. He thought himself as a King in his waking hours, only to be marked as the beast that he truly was by being inoculated. 

 

His long fingers dredged the creases in the smooth sheets beneath him. He was grasping for anything that may ease the ache in the pit of his stomach, or end the seamless film replaying behind his eyes. 

 

It was then, in the throes of his paralysis that he heard a singular word pierce the silence in his room. 

 

_Ben._

 

With unprecedented vigor, the creature shot from his bed. He sat upright panting at the abrupt sweetness that pulled him from his own depths. 

 

His dark eyes parted as humming pressure creased through him. It awoke something in him that he stamped down, and he admitted his defeat to it as those three letters formed again. 

 

_Ben, are you alone?_

Kylo Ren, such a formidable man, slicked his damp hands across his face. The scar seemed to take the pads of his fingers, sweeping them away like a river, to his throat. 

 

He looked around the room. She wasn't there. He couldn't see her at all, but the sound of her voice pushing against their bond seemed to reverberate through his bones. 

 

_**I don't know where you are, what system, but it is amidst the sleeping hours, Scavenger.** _

__

The man scowled. He was more disappointed by the lack of her presence than he cared to admit, and found his own snark and impersonable tone to be a defense. 

 

_I can't see you, either._

Rey's disembodied voice billowed. It was soft, raspy against the tiredness he could hear clearly enough. Perhaps she had been the cause of his sleeplessness. 

 

_Even if I knew exactly where I was, I couldn't bring myself to tell you. Do you struggle to sleep? I've tried many times to move past this, but ever since I left Jakku,  I cannot bare to close my eyes for a few passing moments._

Ben's heart thrummed his chest. He swallowed his words for the first time that he could remember. It was absurd that the  _enemy_ was calling upon him to complain about insomnia. 

 

**_For someone who cannot entirely bear the weight of conversation, you seem to be in full form tonight. What about those friends of yours that you seem to find so much comfort in? Can they not help you find peace enough to shut your eyes and mouth?_ **

__

Ben chewed at his lip. His features wore down into a furrowed expression. He was being overtly caustic, he admitted. A sigh escaped him. He knew that her large eyes were probably weighed down by sadness, and he relented. 

 

_There's no need for your outright rudeness. I didn't ask for this. You and I have traveled down this path before, and we both know how it ended. I felt your presence and chose to talk to you against my better judgement._

Her voice was as sweet as salt. It was strong and forceful, and it seemed that her ire had swelled in more than just her mind. He could feel her tensions and the bite of her tone. 

 

Ben closed his eyes as he breathed in time with the beating of his heart. He searched the corners of his memory for anything that might trigger her visage. 

 

_**Rey, how is it that you still deny me and play these little childish games with me? You seldom pass through this, this thing, and when you do it is always filled with your anger. Is it towards me? Is it towards yourself? Is it towards the things that you regret?** _

__

It was then all of her saccharine had soured. A smirk quirked upon the man's face as he saw a flicker of light in the blackness of the room. A quick image emerged of Rey, having a meltdown similar to his own. She was very similar to him, whether she admitted it to herself or not.

 

Her anger stretched across her freckled features, and he relished it. 

 

_I am not playing games with you, Ben! You are crude and so hurtful. I wouldn't have bothered seeking you out if I had known you were going to still speak to me like you were the creature I've seen my nightmares. I can see through you now, and I know what you really are._

Ben flinched. It surprised him more than he expected. It took a moment before he realized that she could see him -  _barely_. It was so dark, she could barely make out the curves of his face. 

 

The girl was startled. It had been a while since their bond had been so thorough and whole. Every time she thought it was dead, it would open to swallow her. 

 

Ben stared, holding his breath. His eyes opened wide, engulfing the image of her; hair tumbling freely about her shoulders, her tunic askew from her rage. 

 

Those eyes were wild, full of fire. 

 

_**I'm not the only creature, Rey. You're just the same as me, only you don't hide behind a mask. You pretend to be something pious because a beautiful creature is less menacing than one with a scar partitioning each half of themselves like metaphor.** _

__

Rey lowered herself to the floor unsteadily. The cool, hard compartment flooring offset the heat that ran along her flesh. Her cheeks were mottled with color as she focused on him. 

 

His voice was richer now, thicker than even a few moments before. She gripped to the covers she had thrown aside and held them as a child would. Whenever he spoke to her, his language was thick with verbose melodies that somehow made sense to her, even if she had a miniscule amount of education and privilege. 

 

_I'm not a beautiful creature and I have nothing to hide. I'm merely fighting for my cause in the best way I know how._

Rey countered, dark eyes flicking over his pallid flesh as she had on the island. She forced herself to stare into his tired eyes, though they were buried by the darkness of his hair. 

 

He ignored her sentiments initially to around her small frame, searching for an indicator of where she may be. He outwardly frowned when he caught the smallest sight of the run down cot. If he pressed hard enough, he could see around her. Most of the time he didn't truly care about her whereabouts. 

 

_**The reason you don't sleep seems like it's because you don't have a proper resting place.** _

__

Ben pressed plainly. 

 

**_You're on a base aren't you?_ **

__

Rey chewed at her lip before looking away from him. Her heart beat so loudly she was afraid he would hear it from the light years that separated them.

 

_It's none of your ----_

**_I mean no harm in asking. I'm just concerned that you will always be awake. You will always suffer like this. The same as me, little Scavenger._ **

__

Ben soothed in his own way. His eyes felt heavy for her. She was glowing dimly in the pale yellow light. She seemed very much like the sun, as the incandescence of the room reflected the coppery color of her hair.

 

_Ben, what is it like to have a bed?_

 

Rey asked almost innocently. Her eyes were staring off in another direction as she cupped her cheek. The pout on her face made his stomach knot. She had been without privilege  her entire life, and somehow, it was one of the few things that he found humanizing. It was almost disgusting how his convictions swayed on her mere existence. 

 

An ache pulled at him as he leaned forward, in an ill-fated attempt to get closer to her. He inspected her worn expression and felt a wave of want roll over him. He could  _show_ her, should she find it in herself to reach out to him.

 

_**Are you willing to keep pretending you're a martyr?** _

__

The man smirked softly. Rey admitted that he was awkwardly handsome, in some strange, ethereal way. It was very reminiscent of his father had been described by the General on several occasions. 

 

_What's that supposed to mean?_

Rey responded, raising her head.

She tried to formulate a plausible explanation, and eyed him conspicuously. 

 

_**I can always send some blithering Stormtrooper to seize you. Or a bounty hunter. I can bring you here and you can see for yourself. I would be elsewhere to make you more comfortable if you so wished.** _

__

The Supreme Leader propositioned her again, more delicately than before. He had failed the last time he had offered anything to her, so he wasn't expecting a direct answer now. Yet, a few moments passed and her features were blotted by her thoughts. 

 

She wore them as well as he wore the sheets he was wrapped in. She could have reached out and felt him through their bond, but thought better of it. Trusting him was like drinking poison straight from a vile.

 

_I shouldn't trust you._

The Kylo part of himself was impatiently waiting for her to say no so that he could scold her and burn half of his quarters just for release. She was beyond frustrating. Yet, he held that part of himself in. Idly, he mulled over his last offer.

 

_**I could always come find you myself.** _

 

Rey visibly stiffened. Her body language betrayed her and she hated that he had pushed his way through. She pushed back, distancing herself from him. Her eyes looked up towards him sitting atop his bed, looking subservient in the floor; to which the both knew she was not in the slightest. 

 

_That-That will be unnecessary. The others would try to kill you on sight and it would be too messy._

**_Are you trying to protect me?_ **

__

Ben scoffed almost playfully. It was an odd reminder than he was human beneath all else. This was the side of him that only Rey saw. And it was Ben Solo, and never Kylo Ren.

 

_Why would I ever do that?_

Rey teased, finding herself being drawn further into his gravitational pull. The distance she tried to make had seemingly disappeared and their proximity felt that much closer. 

 

She knew Ben had noticed. He had recoiled almost fearfully at their closeness. She was still lower, but she could see more of his pallid figure now.

 

The man could have probably counted the freckles that formed the constellations upon her narrow face. 

 

_**Your loneliness is palpable. Rey, come to me. Please.** _

__

The girl felt tears prickling at the back of her eyes as she wiped a hand across her face. She inched a little closer on her knees until she stood upright. 

 

Looking down, Ben's eyes rose to her thin form as she swallowed. 

 

_**Tell me where you are.** _

__

Rey closed her eyes, pushing and prodding for the destination. 

 

_If I do, will you do me this one favor? This a very terrible war, but I have to know for certain that you will allow no harm to the Rebellion on this night._

The conviction in her voice was so strong it broke into a tawdry rasp. Ben furrowed his brows at her, inspecting the very tethers that held her together. 

 

_**I had no intent with them, only with you.** _

__

Rey inhaled sharply. Her eyes closed and her cheeks bloomed with color. She tried to hide it behind her hair, but still held her proud posture. 

 

The want inside of her swelled in the bottom of her stomach. She was confused. Her own will was used as leverage against her, and the awareness of it sent her further into her own darkness. 

 

_I have no desire to be used._

The girl pressed, reopening her eyes to see him closer to her, on his knees with his sheets still hanging about his body. He knelt closer to her.

 

_**You seem to forget I can feel everything inside of you, even from our distance. I know that you want more than you are allowing yourself to admit to yourself, Scavenger.** _

__

Rey found herself leering at his taut expression, focusing on his mouth as it hung slightly ajar. She raised enough to place her hands upon the silken bedding that engulfed him. Her shoulders were arched defensively. 

 

Ben noted it and peered at her throat, and at the protruding clavicle beneath her tunic. She was thin, but not as thin as she had been when had first seen her. 

 

_What do you see in yourself, Ben? Stop projecting your sickness onto me. I do not want those things of you._

_**You came to me, Rey. Lest you forget that you always come to me. You haunt me until the point where I can no longer sleep.** _

__

His eyes were narrowed, hiding behind a curtain of black tendrils. Rey's mouth pressed into a fine line as she shuddered at his closeness. He looked real, whole and bright against the darkness around him. She could almost feel the warmth of him and she flinched. 

 

_I am not coming to you. I am not giving you more reasons to pull me into your corner. I am--_

**_A woman with desires? Innocent questions that you die to know the answers to? I've seen all of your dreams. They bleed into mine. I offered you a bed, and you refuse me again?_ **

__

Ben peered into her. There was a streak of fear that rejuvenated by the weight of his timbre. She inched closer, mere centimeters from him. Her hands gripped tighter to his bed, pushing through a dimension she still did not fully understand. 

 

_I don't know why I did this. This was a mistake. I cannot do this anymore. I should never have spoken to you. I should never have thought for a second that this was any kind of decent idea._

 

Rey hissed through their bond. Her small hands trembled against the cool, compressed sheets; acknowledging that she could feel what he felt. It was a contrast to the heat she produced. 

 

His eyes lowered to her, stiffening himself as not to prematurely touch her. He held his composure and stern facade as he looked down upon the Scavenger. 

He could feel her breath upon his face, see the sheer intent in her narrowed eyes. 

 

If the man moved, his mouth would be upon hers. His own fingers splayed across his bed, gripping against anything solid. 

 

_**It wasn't a good idea, Rey. You were foolish to think this was going to end with you sleeping. Now, you'll be alone, on the floor wishing that you were here. Just think about the fact that you're chasing after me now.** _

__

A moment of silence passed between them.

 

Rey weighed the options to herself silently, feeling her pulse quicken. She just had to move her fingers just so, so climb an inch further. If she sealed the distance between them, it was treason and very much a secret she would have to keep. This was part of his plan wasn't it?

 

_**If this, whatever this has become, is not to your liking, why do you not do me the service of ending it and being on your way. You cannot stop the dawn from coming, and neither of us will rest with any outcome.** _

 

Ben steeled himself. His sinewy arm twitched, himself still unsure of her wills. The ache of his body seemed to stir more violently. His temperament becoming more impatient when it finally happened. 

 

Rey's soft mouth captured the corner of his. It was warm, wet and very green. It was surely a first, and she quivered at the contact. Ben flinched, not fully understanding the currents that electrified him. On the island, their initial connections were only a fraction of what this had become. 

 

His hand jutted forward, instinctively, pulling himself upright enough to loom over her. The girl seemed so small as she fell into his touch, following the upward motion to almost hang on the corner of the bed. 

 

His hands were softer than she imagined. And those same hands spread through her hair as his pressed his mouth firmly on hers, parting her lips with his tongue. 

 

The girl felt a sensation she had never known split her in two. She felt the halves of herself separate and a volt puncture her lungs and it tore her away from him.

 

A gasp elicited from Ben's lips as he fell forward, gripping to the edge of his bed. He took a sharp breath and scanned the room for her presence. He was alone in the darkness with the rapt beating of his heart. 

 

Rey fell back, with her hands pressed to her mouth and tears creasing the curve of her lashes. The dim light around her seemed to blend in with the blurring of her vision. She closed her eyes searching for him.

 

He wasn't there. 

 

Both halves seemed to recoil. They crawled back to their spaces, laying their weary heads down to stare blankly at the ceilings above them. Their bodies tingled at the sensations that permeated through them, and their thoughts seemed to bleed into one another.

 

The bond was cruel. It was truthful and earnest. Rey was no longer virtuous. She had fallen in love, or in denial of the feeling, with a creature. And the man's fixation on her light, and wholesome facade was becoming more and more ravenous. 

 

And, in the darkness of her own heart, she wanted more. She wanted to feel his fingers splay across her body, just as badly as he wanted to consume her very existence. 

 

The restlessness besieged them. Another time, perhaps, would suffice. 

 

 

 

 

__

__

__

__

__

 

 

 

 


	2. Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is forced to acknowledge her attraction to Ben as more than just loneliness. Still not being able to satiate the urge, she accepts she must go to him to relieve building tensions.  
> Tension smut. Force bond.  
> Chapter 2 of 3.

 

It had been days since the Scavenger had made her presence known, and the inescapable feeling of her touch did not leave the back of Kylo's thoughts. He sat wearily upon his throne, hesitant to move as Hux stormed out. He let out a displeasurable sigh as he glared at the back of the man's head. He wanted nothing more than to be alone, and he rose without a second thought when we was. 

 

The long drapery that hung about his shoulders was discarded upon his seat, and he felt free for a moment. The Supreme Leader felt lighter, as he stood at his natural height. Lumbering, he guided himself past his own guards towards his chambers. 

 

His duties were complete, and he found it befitting to stand tall before the galaxy as it splayed outside of the wide window of his quarters. For a moment, he closed his eyes searching for any trace of the girl. 

 

She was very fickle, and was probably embarrassed about what she had done. A smirk creased his lips. She knew what transpired, and his fingers traced the places she had touched. It felt real. And the astral realm seemed to be thick with tension that night. 

 

The man brushed a hand through a thicket of gossamer hair. The thought of reaching for her seemed out of place, though he was not one to wait for gratification. She  _had_ refused him multiple times and  _Kylo Ren_ did not handle patience as well as  _Ben._

It was an unfortunate thing, really. His gloved fingers pressed along the smooth glass as he thought. The trepidation that slicked across his face made his stomach turn, and he wanted nothing more than to eradicate the simple image of her from his mind. Though, in a moment of weakness,  _Ben_ shined through the darkness and crushed him. 

 

A sigh escaped him and he let his head fall against the pane, as he stared into the infinite clutches of the asteroid fields in the distance. Rey had gotten the better of him. She was succeeding in undoing the efforts he had made to withstand crumbling; let alone regressing into that sniveling mess of the boy he used to be. 

 

Those eyes of her magnetized him, drew him into her Light and suffocated him. There was nothing more than he wanted to stamp it out of her and drag her to his depths. He let out a silent gasp as the sensation of her fingers upon his face haunted him. His own hand, removed from its bind, slid across the same place. 

 

Something stirred inside of him. It felt like pins climbing the notches in his spine. Turning his head from the window, he saw a sliver of her. She was passing through somewhere, her eyes wide and facial features worn with concern. Her hair hung about her shoulders as it appeared to have fallen from being bound. 

 

He saw her stop for a moment to look around. She had felt him. And in the moment, he cleared his throat as she slammed a large door behind her; it was obviously for some sort of protection. 

 

_**What are you running from, Scavenger?**_  Kylo pressured, curiously probing to see if she would present herself to him. His concerns were more selfish than about her well being, though he knew she could handle the unrest. 

 

His body slid down the length of the window to sit crookedly with a long leg outstretched and one recoiled. 

 

It took a moment for the girl's stubbornness to recede, and when it did, she slid down the length of the door to rest on her bottom. Her eyes were heavy as they made out his visage, and she scowled in a futile attempt to hide the flushness of her cheeks. 

 

_What does it matter to you? They were of your company._ She bit, pulling her legs to her chest as she sat her blaster down. 

 

Kylo braced himself. The girl was slick with sweat, and her skin dirtied from combat. Her small chest heaved with every breath and he focused a moment too long on the movement. 

 

_**They're just doing as they're told. It is their own fault for being weak and not holding ground. Though, I don't worry about your prowess. You kill without hesitation now, and I did not do that to you.** _

__

The man gestured with his unsheathed hand. It was a lackadaisical motion that made Rey snap her head away. She closed her eyes briefly, feeling the familiar current run through to her toes and she sighed in relent. 

 

_I wouldn't have to if I wasn't hunted on every planet for merely existing._ She said, pushing her anger towards him.  _You've done enough to me._

The smallest quirk raised his lip. He lowered his head hoping not to show weakness to her again, and he rested his face upon the crook of his arm. 

 

_**I think it's the other way around, Little Bird.**_ His eyes raised to hers, dark and saturine.  _ **Are you alone or are the murderers nearby?**_

__

Rey clenched her jaw, staring past him at the wall in front of her. She was very much alone and she abhorred it. Exhaustion ate at her as she wiped her brow and went slack against the cool metal of the door. 

 

She was in her own quarters now, locked away from the rest of the Squadron. She could lie, but what good would it have done? 

 

_Unfortunately, I am. I don't feel like this is appropriate. I would like very much not to engage with you right now._

_**Your vocabulary has improved. Maybe speaking to me is doing you some bit of good. It seems far more fruitful than studying schematics on a busted piece of garbage, now doesn't it?**  _Kylo quipped, his voice smooth and low in the echoing darkness. 

 

Rey didn't respond, as she subconsciously pushed herself deeper into their bond. He seemed closer when she looked up, and her heart crept into her throat. 

 

_Was there something you wanted from me, Ben?_ She asked, knowing that that name would spell misery for him. But that's who he was to her and she wondered if he sometimes believed it, too. 

 

A pretentious huff ejected from his throat, _**I was merely curious what you were so amiss about, Rey.**_ He articulated her name precisely as he watched her body tense beneath his scrunity. His fingers darted to his mouth, and her eyes instinctively followed. 

 

A smirk laced his lips as he brushed over them. Her thoughts were lost on  _that_ night and he did not need the Force to tell him as much. 

 

_I already told you, so I suppose that this is the end of this today._ She sighed. Rey swallowed, mouth suddenly dry as she followed his hand to his throat as he brushed it along the scarred flesh to pick at the collar of his tunic. 

 

If she were alone with her thoughts, she would have been privy to wishing to do the same. Her own skin tingled with the ghost of his hands upon it, and she willed all of her energy into this feigned facade of strength. 

 

_**You could have found other uses for your mind, by now. Though, I doubt that you want to.**_ Ben was softer, still shrouded by Kylo, of course, but he was very much Ben with her. In all earnest interaction, that's who he felt the most akin to in Rey's presence. Fighting it now just seem repugnant. 

 

_**I think you're afraid of what transpired between us. I could count the times I've felt your desires, but I won't embarass you. You shouldn't feel remorse for what you did. You knew already that you were a traitor.** _

__

He pressed, scorching their bond with electricity as Rey shot up from her seat on the floor. Her body stood thin, and tall above him. She was closer, eyes warm with ferocity. He looked upwards at her diminutive frame in awe. 

 

_You knew what you were doing to me. You sucked me into your pull, and tempted me when I was weak and I will not allow you to do it again._

Rey hissed. The weight of her anger slithered through their current, crawling into the back of his mind as it engulfed him. He wanted more of her. It felt like kindling to a fire as he pushed himself to his feet to stand tall before her. 

 

The girl raised her head in defiance at him, standing a few feet away. She pushed her way through to see past him, staring for a moment at the sea of stars outside. It quelled her rage for a breft instant and he wasted no time in bridging the gap between them. 

 

It took one stride with his wife gait, as she peered into him. He was so close she could feel his heat again, and she trembled. 

 

_**No. This is not as black and white as you are forcing yourself to believe. You hunt me down like I am prey.  I am not the only one with something up my sleeve, and I have been honest with you since the beginning despite what you may believe.** _

__

His voice was thick, low in timbre as he lowered his head to her ear. Rey tore her eyes away, staring at the floor to regain composure. She forced herself not to think, or to let him have any of the thoughts that  _had_ slithered through her mind. His hair touched her cheek and she froze. 

 

_**Please don't be afraid, Rey. Let yourself have this one pleasure. You deny yourself of sleep, food, human desire. You are repressing something you cannot control.** _

__

Ben whispered against her, feeling the volitale change in their bond. His eyes closed, feeling the pull of her Light drugging him. It was euphoric as he felt a quivering hand rest upon his chest. It was so faint through his clothing that he frowned. 

 

_I can control this. I am not going to let you sway me, Ben. Just as much as you will not allow me to bring you back to us._

Rey said softly, sliding closer as she raised her hand to his collar. The same place his own hand had rested. The exposed skin called to her and she let the very edges of her fingers make contact. 

 

Her breathing hitched in her throat as it burned her. Ben flinched, as well. Though he was not ashamed and leaned his weight onto her. 

 

_**I suppose were in an impasse. We can exist here, Rey. We're two halves and no matter how much you run, we will always be drawn back here.**_ Ben soothed in his own way, knowing that the truth seemed unbearable for her to hear. He yearned for these phantom touches, as her real touch would be too much to ask for.  _ **It isn't your real body, just a figment of it and it is a disservice to how badly I've wanted for it to touch me.**_

 

His long fingers gripped to her arms, resting upon the exposed flesh her binds did not cover. It was like fire charring his own skin. It took all of his vigor to not dissolve. 

 

Rey audibly gasped at the sensations coursing through her. Her mind was clouded by a film of interactions leading up to this one. The hand against his throat was crushed by his weight, pressing her into his chest. He was warm, radiating heat upon her. Her eyes blurred with moisture as she whispered his name against his ear. 

 

The man shuddered, placing his mouth upon her shoulder as his bare hand moved to rest upon the small of her back. It sent rivulets of frisson down his spine. 

 

_**I can be Ben for you, Rey. If that's the part of me you desire.** _

__

He soothed, nipping the smooth flesh with his teeth. The girl flinched, drawing her fingers into his hair as he tasted the sweet saltiness of her skin. 

 

_This isn't right. We cannot do this._

The girl panted, feeling her heart flickering against their bond. Her body trembled, and quakes beneath his touch. She almost whined when he pulled away. His hands raising to grip the sides of her face more gently than she imagined they would. 

 

_**Why? Are you still afraid? You tasted me before, Rey. You came to me. You crawled to me and I did the same for you. I can give you everything, even if you do not give me your hand.** _

__

Ben said, running a thumb over the plump ridges of her lip. She caught it delicately with her teeth as she tried to show restraint. She was not pure enough to continue this way. She wanted to feel his flesh upon hers, to know that body as well as she knew her own. 

 

She was fighting against the half of herself she had looked for, and it was damnable how desperately she wanted it to be anyone else. 

 

_I absolutely detest myself for how badly I want this._ She whispered, digging her fingers into his sides.  _But I cannot. I can feel them coming I have to go, Ben._

Her eyes caught his as he glowered. It was detestable how much he hated  _them._ The Resistance always claimed the things he loved and he he forced his anger into the kiss they shared. 

 

He pressed his body firmly against her; his hardened state resting against her stomach as she gasped at the sensation. It was new and made her legs weak as he delved deeper into her, drawing her mouth open with his tongue. 

 

A real kiss outside of their realm would be more torturous than a dream of one. And with that, both bodies were hit by the dizzying sounds of their realities. 

 

Kylo snapped his hands to his face, still tasting the girl hanging upon his mouth. He panted as he brushed his hair back and pressed away his erection. He hated that she did this to him, and he thought better of destroying his quarters. 

 

The Supreme Leader would eagerly be awaiting the Scavenger's return. And as he wiped away the tension, he knew it would be sooner than she expected. 

 

Truth be told, he wasn't wrong. The girl regained as much composure as she could muster as Rose opened the partition to bring water and some stale rations. A smile ate up her face, and Rey hid her flustered skin beneath a cloak from her satchel. Her cheeks were mottled and Rose merely brushed it off as a brewing cold. 

 

Rey could still feel Kylo looming alongside her, humming against their bond. Her eyes closed as she listened to the girl in the room banter on, all important valid and sweet things, but the darkness was always there. 

 

She wanted nothing more than to take care of the ache building inside of her. There was only one way to satiate it, and he was waiting. 

 

 

__

 

 


	3. Firestarter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is a creature of habit and finds her way into Ben's quarters. The beginning of the end and their demise started slow, bursting into flames the second they physically encountered one another.

 

It was sweltering. The compartment was far too small, even for the diminutiveness of her own body. The weight of it hung in cinders upon her chest as she pressed her hands along the metal above her. 

 

It was dark. The shipping container was a ploy, of course, and Poe had suggested that in order to infiltrate the ship, it would have been the best option considering he had wasted most of their assets. 

 

Rey agreed to the dismay of the General and most of her comrades; _murderers,_ as Ben had called them. A nervous switch struck her face, crunching her nose to release the energy wound inside of her. 

 

In the back of her mind, she knew Ben would know she was there. She had probed the distance between them for the past few days, only to end up cold. Their bond was inconsistent, and she chalked it up to the Force allowing it when it wanted them to speak. 

 

It only conceded when it felt necessary; never giving enough, only a little to remind them of what existed between them. 

 

She could always  _feel_ him, whether it be his presence or in her dreams. Part of her wondered if he knew she was boarded up and wishing for death inside of the cargo-hold of a busted ship. 

 

It was her habitual natural that agreed to this, knowing that shipping herself across the galaxy in container had worked before. The Resistance had swollen in size during recruitment and some small, bird-like girl sealed her in. She could still see through the cracked boards as the faintest flecks of light bled through. 

 

Still, she could barely see as she struggled against the heaviness of the carbonite top. The ship was sputtering. And, the engines seemed to growl and spit as it scuttled through the edges of an asteroid belt. 

 

For a moment, Rey closer her eyes. She sank into her subsconscious looking for something - _anything -_ to detract the discomfort. 

 

The memories of Jakku spilled into her thoughts, permeating in her vision as if it were a film. The scorching heat and dehydration hit her as it lapped at her skin. The sand crashing against her face all seemed too tangible for her liking. 

 

She breathed in panic as she felt the shipping compartment dislodge. The girl tore herself back to reality as she felt the last few motions to set her into a larger box, air tight and sustainable. The ventilation to keep her alive kicked on when slammed shut. 

 

Rey could barely hear as she felt it move to the bay. The totality of the darkness frightened her, and she pressed her hands to her face to remove the sweat beading along her cheeks. 

 

Her heart beat wildly as she felt the inertia bore down on her. The sound of metal raises creaking alerted her senses as she triggered the Force to quell her fears. 

 

It backfired, naturally, as she was drawn into its claws. She welcomed the fervor of darkness as it swept along her. She felt _his_ presence awaken in her and her eyes lowered towards the miniscule blipping light on her wrist. Weakly, she slid off her Comm and let it fall beside her. 

 

There were things she knew would be unjust, and this was one of them.  The Resistance would surely be upset and revolt as they always did. As much she grew with them, the pull to the dark always remained. 

 

And in itself, the equivocation of  _balance_ was not absolute. It was, in its purest form, an ebb and flow -  _a wax and wane._

Though the darkness arrested Rey, she was soothed by Ben's exposure to the light. It gripped him in heavy waves that almost consumed him. 

 

His body recoiled at the sensation, knowing that the shoddy fleet of stolen ships would be housing the one thing he had left to desire.  He stood in the command center, watching the illuminated maps inundated with a cluster of cruisers and busted X-wings. 

 

A smirk perched upon his face as he took a deep breath. Hux glowered sourly at the holo, urging fire to rain down upon them. Kylo Ren's refusal infuriated him. It was  _his_ army and  _his_ command, and one day he would prove it. 

 

Just a little more time and he would figure out the one weakness that could bring the Supreme Leader to his knees. He  _would_ bend  for him and his subservience would be euphoric. His execution even more so, Hux relished. 

 

Ren waited silently as Hux exited the station with a hardened line across his face.  He would be inspecting the parameters for any signs of skullduggery since his  _Supreme Leader_ did not understand the discourse of his negligence. 

 

It was almost worrisome that a look of warmth streaked across Kylo Ren's face. A sigh erupted from his lungs as soon as the red headed man exited, leaving his body slack. He couldn't place if Rey was aboard one of the carriers. An inkling of it, however, reigned over him as his hand subconsciously creased across his scar. 

 

It made him flinch at the sensation as an image of her blurred his vision. It was faint, but enough for him to lurch forward. It froze him as his eyes met hers. She looked directly above her, through the darkness, to see him peering back at her. 

 

Rey breathed heavily in the stuffy container, wasting some of the oxygen she had been trying to spare. They both knew the implications of this, and found the harsh reality of their separation, through sides of the Force, and that of the war, were wrought with expected weight. 

 

The reality of this moment propelled forward with a gravity neither expected. It wasn't like before, not in dreams, not on the island, not on the precipice they had fallen from in Snoke's chambers. 

 

_Ben_ looked at her fervently, eyes searching the dark compartment for the glint of light in her eyes. The moment was gone as quickly as it began, leaving Ben rattled. 

 

He searched the control panel and map for any ship that  _may_ contain the girl. A flush settled upon his cheeks as he excused himself. His eyes followed the ships from the vast windows that snaked across his own vessel, noting the pin-pricks of stars puncturing the abyss of the galaxy. 

 

Kylo fumbled awkwardly around medic droids heading toward the infirmary as he made his way to the bay, as he had before. He had to get to her before Hux.  Though in the back of his mind, he knew the man was stewing in his chambers. 

 

His tactics were brazen, but he rushed down the cooridoor towards a new commanding officer still adjusting to her position. She admired the man as she straightened her position, arching her shoulders in attention. 

 

"The Resistance seems to be preparing to board the ship. If they send a barter, send them to me immediately. I request any cargo to be sent to the detention level. I will monitor the contents." Kylo stated plainly, his face stoic and firm as it always was. 

 

The young woman nodded in response. She knew better than to question him, and the timbre of his voice was thick with urgency despite his facade. 

 

As he rushed away,  his black cloak fell a few feet behind him. He felt the sensations akin to the ones in the astral plane and the infiniteness of it. His large hands rung together, mind racing to places they should have never treaded. 

 

The darkest parts of him found themselves pushing him into a saddened state as he slammed his chamber door as Rey had on the Falcon. It replayed in his mind until the Comm eventually sounded, arresting his nerves with a jolt. 

 

Kylo Ren sat upright, eyes bleeding with an emotion he felt only with  _her._ He kicked away the cloak, tearing it from his body as he discarded its weight upon the smooth black floor. His guards brought two prisoners he had never seen, one tall and thin like a willowy tree and large button-like eyes. 

 

And one small, frail looking boy that was malnourished. His scowl deepened as he noted the scarring on his face. It mirrored his own as he barked orders to detain them. 

 

The Stormtroopers scuttled along, leaving the yellow haired Commander behind. She studied her Supreme Leader's face a moment too long. It did not go by unnoticed. 

 

"You will join them if you do not remove your gaze from me. I am not inclined to the whims of lower ranks. Excuse yourself or you will be joining the garbage you dragged from detention." _Kylo_ hissed, narrowing his eyes upon her as she braced herself for the possibility of death, which most officers did. 

 

"Excuse me, Supreme Leader." She said softly, as she briefly knelt. "I thought you may need assistance with inspection. Should I---" 

 

Kylo snapped, jaw tightening. "Should you what, Commander? Do you wish to take my position, or do you know your place?" He questioned, placing a gloved hand upon the container. 

 

The girl shook her head slightly, "I will take my leave." 

 

As he watched the woman seal the door behind her, he closed his eyes. Inside of the container, Rey placed her own hand against the metal lid. She had absorbed the vibrations in his voice, knowing what he was suffering through as she panted for air. 

 

Her skin was damp, heavy with the heat squelching her clothes and skin. She felt dizziness seize her mind, making the world around her hazy. After a few moments, she fell slack as the lid was violently torn off. 

 

Her heart beat too fast for her weakened state, and sent waves of worry through her veins.  _He_ was there.  _He_ was removing her from her prison. 

 

Closing her eyes, Rey could not face the man as the cool, sterile air of the room kissed her mottled flesh. It was jarring. The heaviness of the chamber flittered over her as she willed herself to open her eyes. 

 

The crooked limbs that slumped against the boards were free and they flinched at the pressure. 

 

Looking up, she saw his eyes meet hers. She felt the darkness inside of her swell as it drew her in, swallowing her as though it manifested through his gaze alone. 

 

It was different now. The willfullness she felt in her dreams, or in the plane they existed in, had been stripped. It was more than she expected and the Scavenger shot up to her feet. 

 

Her small hands gripped the sides of the container as she felt her hair tumble from its bind.  _Ben_ looked at her at her flush face, staring at the mouth that had been connected with him some days before. 

 

He wanted to speak, or to delve into her mind to see what she was thinking as she took in his tall stature. Yet, he didn't. He stood in awe. They both knew why they were here, bathing in the cool white light that slicked across the ornate blackened chamber. 

 

The sounds that whirred drowned the quiet between them. He stepped a little closer, taking in the tightly wound grey tunic that was snug against her body. He envied it. 

 

"You're a creature of habit, I see." Ben said quietly, as he had spoken to her through their bond. 

 

The girl breathed him in, reaching a hand forward wishing touch him again, like the ghost of her had. Rey didn't hesitate as she thought she would. He was really there. The distance was as hindering as an abatis. 

 

"I own my faults." Rey said softly, her eyes falling upon his face. She could feel the magnetic fervor of the Force blooming between them. The girl watched him steel himself, holding himself as still as possible as her hand almost reached its target. 

 

A moment before it did, Ben's own hand clasp around hers. The cries of the universe crept into a crescendo before everything went silent. He was frozen in place, grasping to her steady hand. Rey panted at the contact as she had on the island, in her dreams, any and every place that they touched. 

 

It was full, forceful and dripping with anguish. Longing for a real touch had lead them to this moment of utter awe. He wanted nothing more than to devour her as though her were a starving wolf. 

 

The girl was drunk on the energy that circulated between them, pushing and pulling the darkness through their veins. 

 

Rey swallowed, eyes dilating as she honed in on the feeling of his skin. He placed her hand upon his face, guiding it down the length of his scar. It was taut, still tender beneath her touch as he leaned into her palm. 

 

"This is the fault of your hands." The man rumbled, overwhelmed by the fullness of the interaction. "I wish you were as proud of this as I am to wear it." 

 

Rey clenched her jaw, feeling his lip curve beneath her fingers as his saliva slick across her palm.  He was warm. He was patient-- a virtue she did not truly believe existed in him. 

 

"You know how I feel about this. It was a different time, and a different version of me that did this to you." She whispered, finding comfort in his presence. A feat she hated to admit was possible. 

 

Ben longed for touch so desperately that he allowed her to explore the rivers and valleys of his pronounced features. Every place they connected felt like fire had kindled beneath the pads of her fingers. 

 

"You know why you are present. We do not have much time, and if your intentions are as lascivious as mine, you are going to be crawling back to me." The man boasted, eying her as she removed herself from the container as though she were a gift. 

 

She wasn't as bold as she was in the realm in between time and space. She was afraid and he sensed it on her with ease. As she stood small before him, eyes bleary with emotion, he placed a hand upon her cheek. 

 

It stunned her, as she felt the smooth texture of it wind to her throat. She arched into his touch. "I keep getting drawn to you. I cannot stand this. You could have come with me, Ben." 

 

He hushed her, shushing in a tone that was far more ominous that it was. "Little Bird, you've seen everything inside of my mind. You know it is not possible, just as I have accepted that you and I will chase each other to the edges of the galaxy and never be fulfilled."

 

"I chase you nowhere." Rey said defiantly. It was such a powerful lie that he laughed. It was breft, but amusement rang from him nonetheless. 

 

"Rey, where do you stand now?" Ben asked, lowering his head to her ear as he had before. She shuddered at his breath upon her skin, and wavered at his closeness. "Do you truly believe that you did not run to me?"

 

Her hands shot to his arms, gripping to the fabric as he shifted her towards the wall.

The impact was hard, cool against the heat of her flushed skin. His weight crushed her, and she dissolved into him. The sound of her heart reverberated through them, making his own flutter. 

 

His hands pressed against the smooth, black wall beside her head. She looked towards him, head tilted eagerly waiting to become the conductor of the building charge. 

 

A breath escaped her before being consumed by his mouth upon hers. He tasted the same, only sweeter. There was no evil there. It was lost somewhere in the intoxication, spilling over into her body. She felt the pressure, that darkness, eat away at her as her hands slithered down his sides.

 

The light ebbed and flowed through him, as he delved deeper into her mouth, searching for answers.  She was sweeter than salt, and very malleable beneath him. Each touch seemed heavier, hotter upon the places he felt.

 

"I've seen how you've longed for this, Rey." He drawled, bruising her throat with his teeth. She gasped, threading her fingers through his gossamer hair. 

 

She wanted to feel more of him -- trace the outline of his body until it made sense to her. 

 

"Every bit of me is screaming, Ben." Rey whined, finding no strength against him. She pushed her body closer to his. "Why do you do this to me?"

 

Her voice was raw, quiet enough for only him to hear. The man felt the voltage of their bond pressing him closer to her. His head fell upon hers, " We didn't choose this, Rey." He breathed, " It isn't safe here, especially for a little thing like you. Something awful could happen to you here."

 

Rey narrowed her eyes, a swell of turmoil stirring inside of her small body. She wanted to overpower him. It was a carnal urge she had only felt a handful of times, and he knew it. He gripped her hands above her head, pinning her in place. 

 

"I'm not afraid of you,  _Ben."_ The girl smirked, feeling his grip tighten. She stared at his expression through her lashes. Using the Force to free herself was the last thing she wanted. She would do it on her own, and relent to her own will. "You couldn't kill me then, and you certainly won't do it now.".

 

Ben smirked against her jaw, "You didn't either and look at the mess we've found ourselves in, Rey." He bit her lip softly, finding her legs tangling with his. 

 

"You have just as much to hide as I do." Rey gasped, arching into him. She struggled to lift herself with the wall acting as balance. Wriggling, she slung her legs around his waist, feeling the hardened fabric pressing against her center. 

 

Ben's body flinched at the contact, eliciting a rumble from deep in his chest. He removed one hand, still clasping hers against the wall. Over the tunic, his fingers fondled her breast. It was small in his hand, but soft to the touch.

Eagerly, he slithered breath it. 

 

The girl whimpered at the sensation, closing her eyes as he watched her features bloom with color. Each pass over her beaded nipple sent shudders down her spine. 

 

She wanted more, craved it, truthfully. Those nights she had spent fraternizing had left her dreaming of this moment. It wasn't as dark or heavy as it was, but she expected no less. 

 

The girl rolled her hips against him. He doubled over, taking her to the floor with him. She rested stop, hands free to do as they pleased. 

 

Her own hands slammed across the smooth marble, caging him beneath her as she pushed harder onto him. The tendrils of her hair fell about her jaw as she watched her prey. 

 

It was then that the discarded Comm shrieked, tearing them out of their stupor. Ben instinctively shushed her, covering her mouth with his hand. Rey rolled her tongue lightly over his fingers, suckling on his palm. 

 

His eyes rolled back in his head, bucking against her as she ground down upon him. Trying to focus, he heard a male voice he knew well asking for the girl. 

 

He grimaced as she rolled her eyes towards the shipping container. Ben pressed in silence against their bond that sent Rey into an spiraling abyss. The sound of the Comm echoed like a shot to the head. 

 

_**You have to say something, Scavenger. They'll come for you, as I know they've got your location pinpointed.** _

__

His dark eyes locked with hers. Fear struck her as she cleared her throat, pulling the device to her. 

 

Poe's voice burned her. He wanted to know of her status. And she shakily began to open her mouth and speak as Ben pulled his hand away, reaching beneath her. 

 

She couldn't bring herself to utter a word. A soundness cry elicited from her lips as she crushed the device to her chest. Focusing her energy, Rey clenched her jaw finding it in herself to move against Ben's fingers.

 

The device's static cried again. Poe was agitated and waited for a reply. Rey felt another hand climb her throat as she moved. She hadn't the faintest idea how to sound normal. Ben knew this. 

 

He relished in it. It was a part of him. His strangeness and fascination with watching her struggle was euphoric to him. 

 

_**It's your choice, Rey. This is part of the arrangement. A war doesn't stop for you and your desires.** _

__

Ben pressed, feeling her damp core soaking through his clothing. The girl straightened herself, producing more friction. She swallowed before placing the Comm against her cheek, soothing the burns upon her skin. 

 

"I w-will be," Rey paused as a new sensation rippled through her. "I will be returning after infiltration. So far, I-I am still looking for battle plans." She mustered, screwing her eyes shut as Ben pulled the tethers of her tunic.

 

Poe's voice was unsettling, offering back up to which she declined. The fleet would stay near by in case of recovery and she agreed to the conditions. 

 

Ben smirked. The girl destroyed her Comm. They were coming regardless, not giving her much time. She sat bare chested atop the Supreme Leader, eyes narrow and angry. 

 

The man reached between them to remove himself, alleviating some of the pressure. "You didn't think this would be easy, did you?" He toyed with her. 

 

She turned away, too afraid to look down at his length as it rested against her. "That was cruel of you and embarrassing."

 

Ben reached around her waist, flipping her securely onto her back without crushing her. His hair fell upon her face as she stared at the scar once more. 

 

Her fingers slid across it, "Please, Ben." She whispered to him. Pressing her face into his shoulder, she felt him peel down her bottoms exposing her soft curls. 

 

He held onto her carefully as he rested her back down upon the cold floor. The girl closed her eyes, feeling him fumbling and quivering as he entered her. It was the same intensity as the times they touched, magnified to the point of hallucination. 

 

He slid into her small body inch by inch. She curled beneath him, dragging her nails down his tunic. 

 

His forehead slid against hers. Each thrust wound with pressure. She met him, slowly bucking her hips in an arduous pace. It hurt in ways she didn't expect, but he was gentle enough to not harm her. When it subsided, Ben was more volitale and uncontrolled. 

 

"You and I are damned, Rey." Ben panted against her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing one more chapter to conclude my smut train. ♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not entirely sure if this will have accompanying chapters. It was mostly just a one shot idea, but I may add one or two more chapters with some smut (MAYBE).  
> THANK YOU FOR READING MY TRASH. ♡


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